Couples Therapy Woodland Hills
Are You In An Unhappy Or Unsatisfying Relationship?
Are you experiencing a lack of trust, connection, and intimacy in your relationship? Is it difficult for you and your partner to resolve conflicts without the familiar cycle of attack and isolation kicking in? Have unhealthy patterns of communication developed between you, creating resentment and disconnection?
You want a lifetime of love, support, connection, and a relationship that stands on solid ground—one that you can rely on and grow with as you move through life. But maybe your relationship hasn’t been feeling right for a while. Perhaps you’re not on the same team anymore. Misunderstandings and differing opinions created distance between you. Instead of fighting to resolve life’s difficulties together side by side, you feel alone in the relationship.
You May Be Uncertain About Your Future As A Couple
As a couple, there has likely been a loss of intimacy, affection, and admiration. As much as you desire to move forward in a positive direction, you may be struggling to be present with each other due to hurts from the past casting a shadow on the here and now.
Maybe you have mixed feelings and even doubts about wanting the relationship to work out. Often by the time you decide you want to seek couples therapy, there is built-up tension, resentment, and unresolved issues. Hurtful things may have been said when emotions were high that can’t be taken back.
Up until now, you may have invested all of your efforts into problem-solving without success. Although relationship skills are not innate, they can be learned with the help of a marriage counselor. The skills you will learn in couples therapy can support you and your partner in reaching your ideal relationship.
All Relationships Have Ups And Downs
There’s no question keeping a long-term relationship going can be tough. As life happens around us, we may experience circumstances during a marriage that cause us to grow apart. Sometimes, without even noticing that it’s happened, we wake up one day estranged from each other. Communication has broken down, leading to arguments and misunderstandings.
Although conflict is inevitable, we may have a harder time when we enter a relationship with unrealistic expectations. We may not realize how much we expect from our partner—in addition to lover, they are our best friend, confidante, co-parent, and housemate. This is a tall order for just one person to fill.
Where we often run aground is accepting culture’s false claim that we each have a perfect soulmate who can fulfill every emotional need that we have. Through romantic tropes perpetuated in books and movies, we’re led to believe that without this person, we are not “complete.” What we fail to realize is that relationships are a two-way street. Healthy partners know how to give and receive love and support from each other.
We May Compare Ourselves To Others
When we look to others such as our neighbors, families in our school community, and even strangers on social media as a template for what great relationships should look like, unrealistic expectations continue to flourish. Comparing ourselves to a curated version of reality can lead us to believe that we’re the only couple who is struggling. However, nothing could be further from the truth—even when they look picture-perfect from the outside, all relationships have their challenges.
Despite what social media would have you believe, making a relationship last takes work. No matter what stage you’re in, you can benefit from marriage therapy. Whether you are seeking intimacy or communication counseling, couples therapy is about creating a solid foundation. By repairing the relationship, you can reconnect with the one you love.
With Couples Therapy, You Can Learn To Turn Toward Each Other Again
By the time you seek help, you or your partner may be feeling unappreciated and taken for granted. The goal of couples therapy is to change your relationship patterns and strengthen the resilience of your partnership. Together, we will work on helping you break free from the vicious cycle of attack and isolation and instead build connection and healthy attachment. By learning new ways to connect, your relationship will feel more fulfilling and satisfying.
Attending couples therapy does not need to be a last resort or something to rule out before you break up. To be effective, counseling requires you to be accountable to yourself and empathetic towards your partner. By learning to be curious about each other, you can let go of misinterpretations and start seeing things from a different perspective. Having the openness and flexibility to look inward, couples therapy requires you to be both vulnerable and accountable.
Resolve Conflicts In Ways That Bring You Closer
Your therapy sessions are designed to strengthen the bond between you and your partner. The goal is not to remove all conflict but to give you the tools and insight that will help you get back on track faster and easier. By learning to be more emotionally available, you will create a secure bond where you are open, attuned, and responsive to each other.
In relationships, we move away from each other when we recycle old arguments. In marriage counseling, you will achieve a true sense of closure so that you can let go of past resentment and nurture safety, trust, and honesty. When you gain a deeper insight and understanding of the underlying dynamics in a conflicting situation, you will be more aware of potential triggers. And by anticipating triggers, you will have the toolset to be proactive rather than reactive.
When you avoid talking about your disagreements, they tend to pile up and lead to explosive arguments, which causes more disconnection and resentment. In marriage counseling, you will first identify the unhealthy cycles caused by misunderstandings and then discover how to engage in honest and empathetic connection. Holding each other accountable without shaming or blaming will allow you to experience a new sense of safety and closeness.
Restore The Enjoyable Moments You Once Shared
When the relationship has been estranged for a while, you forget to have fun together. Another important aspect of couples therapy will be increasing the frequency of positive interactions. By creating new routines that not only bring fun and laughter back into your relationship but also align with your unique family values, you will notice how these small things will make a big difference in the quality of your relationship.
When you come together in couples therapy, you can absolutely have a relationship that is non-judgmental, supportive, and loving. You can create stability in your relationship that will last a lifetime. Ultimately, you and your partner will feel like you’re on the same team working together—instead of against—each other. You will learn to have the same conversations in a healthier manner to get the best results. And you will build a stronger connection with your partner, which will enrich your life overall.
But You May Have More Questions About Couples Therapy…
My partner has said they won’t come to couples counseling with me—what should I do?
It’s common for one partner to be more open to couples therapy while the other remains resistant. But as they say, it takes two to tango—working with a marriage therapist can be an invaluable way to strengthen the compassion, empathy, and understanding you have for each other’s feelings and experiences. We offer a complimentary 15-minutes phone consultation to assess your needs and introduce ourselves. This initial consultation can be a non-threatening way to have your partner “test” out the couple’s therapy, and will hopefully realize how beneficial marriage counseling can be.
I am worried that the couples therapist will take sides.
As trained marriage and couples counselors, we pride ourselves in our ability to remain impartial and unbiased. In fact, remaining neutral is a foundational premise of couples therapy. We aim for each of you to feel emotionally safe in the therapeutic space so that you are comfortable being vulnerable and open with each other. That’s how true healing happens.
You Can Be Closely Connected Again
It is possible to learn relationship skills that will help you and your partner be more vulnerable, emotionally open, and flexible. To schedule an appointment to begin couples therapy at our Woodland Hills therapy practice or online, please fill out the contact form to schedule a free phone consultation.
