Breaking the Silence Around Adult Depression and Encouraging Support and Self-Compassion

Signs & Symptoms of Depression in Adults:

More people struggle with depression than are willing to admit it. Because of stigmas and stereotypes surrounding depression, it can be hard to spot in yourself or others. We assume that it will be obvious, that there will be constant sadness and hiding from the world. But depression doesn’t always look like staying in a dark room under your blankets. Remember Kate Spade, Robin Williams, and Anthony Bourdain! 

Many people who live with depression are married, have kids, and go to work. But none of those come easily when you are grappling with untreated depression. Depression can lead to physical and mental exhaustion and stagnation; those who are depressed can struggle to complete day to day tasks, remember important events, and/or pursue goals and dreams, even those they deeply desire.

When you realize depression has nothing to do with being “lazy” or “unmotivated,” but stems from a core sense of feeling lost and unhappy, you may realize more adults live with it. As a therapist for depression in Woodland Hills, I see these results first-hand on a regular basis.

Common symptoms of depression:

• Changes in sleep such that you may sleep more or less, find yourself waking up frequently or having a hard time falling asleep.
• Difficulty with task completion due to procrastination, issues with focus and concentration.
• Feeling overwhelmed by negative emotions and thoughts, such as thinking you are a failure or not good enough, having emotions like low mood, guilt, worry, and anxiety.
• Having relationships worsen due to isolation, lack of interest in other people, poor conflict resolution and poor boundaries.
• Having poor relationship with one self as evidenced by having low self-worth, self-confidence, self-trust, and/or self-love.

2 Coping Skills for Managing Depression

1 – Recognize Your Experience Without Judgment 

Those we see for depression therapy in Woodland Hills talk a lot about self-judgment. Negative self-talk, such as, “Why can’t I just…?” or, “I’m a failure because…” can become the persistent narrative, but this pattern is not only unhelpful, but it is untrue. You are more than your mental health struggles, and deserve to take them on and move forward with confidence. 

• It isn’t easy to live with depression, but ignoring it, repressing it, or judging yourself for having it exacerbates the problem. It is very easy to start speaking to yourself unkindly about the way your depression manifests. You may feel anxious around people but lonely when you’re by yourself; this is a common experience for those who struggle with mental health. If your reaction to that is to judge yourself, to ask, “What’s the matter with me?” or to talk down to yourself, it’s not going to help you navigate your experience any easier, and it certainly won’t help you build any confidence in addressing what steps you need to take. You may experience fatigue and struggle to get out of bed due to depression. You may lash out at those you love the most when you are overwhelmed. Judging yourself for these manifestations of your depression will not help you feel better, or do better.
• Recognizing it does not mean you approve it or that you won’t do anything about it. Sometimes, we feel that acceptance equates to permission, and the last thing we want to do is give our depression permission to contribute to behaviors and patterns that we dislike. Actually, empowering yourself begins with knowing what your starting point is so that you can plan how to deal with what is going on. Acknowledging what your experience is and has been allows you to consider actual feasible options. It also gives you space to validate yourself for what you’ve been through, and, most importantly, to show yourself compassion. We all make mistakes, we all struggle with difficult choices, we all have regrets. We can only move forward if we’re honest about what those are.
• Acknowledging its existence and recognizing it with compassion will ultimately give you clarity to take action. When you recognize your experience without judgment, you can begin to unpack the pain of the past, learn to sit in discomfort in the present, and create a plan for the future. Think of depression as a big piece of furniture in the middle of your living room. There is no pretending it’s not there, there is only navigating your space effectively given the presence of the furniture. Would you be harsh with yourself about having to walk around it? No. Over time, with work, that piece of furniture may be made smaller. There may be days when it is out of the way entirely. But there will be other days when you have to work around it. Being able to make a plan for those days (and for the easier days) is a gift you can give yourself by taking steps and seeking the proper support.

2 – Do One Thing to Manage Depression

When we become overwhelmed by the things we’re not accomplishing, iit can be easy to slip into a pattern of spiraling, especially after a mistake or misstep. In actuality, being able to tackle one thing, even if it’s only one thing, can help you to reset and refocus after struggles and setbacks.

• Doing something for yourself is how you show yourself care. Here at Embracing You Therapy we believe in empowerment. We believe that every one of us has the ability to overcome what they are dealing with. What we often focus on in our sessions for depression treatment in Woodland Hills is how to break challenges down into smaller, more manageable pieces. With a challenge like depression, it can seem to be connected to everything you try to do, and in most cases, you are correct. Depression can lead to memory troubles, making it difficult to recall what it is you’re trying to get done, or what you have committed to. It can zap energy and create other physical symptoms, such as nausea, headache, and other body pain. When we are tired and our bodies hurt, the last thing we want to do is get up and do something. In those moments, we may talk ourselves out of doing one thing, with thoughts like, “Why bother? It’s just one thing.” In actuality, crossing off even one item on your to-do list can alleviate stress and overwhelm, as well as give you a sense of accomplishment.
• Self-care is at the foundation of every life. The more you invest in yourself, the better you treat yourself. The more regularly you are able to meet your basic needs, the stronger you will feel. Hence, when it comes to dealing with depression, we ask that you choose one thing every day to manage it. For some, it may be taking their medication, for others, it may be taking a shower, or going to therapy. But you have to do it, especially when you don’t feel like it. When it comes to building routines, the model is actions first, feelings second. This can be the hardest knowledge to implement; most of us rely on motivation to accomplish the things we need to do. When you don’t feel like eating a meal, brushing your teeth, going for a walk, doing the dishes, it is easy to choose to skip it, stay in bed, leave it for “another time”. If you have to, break the task down into steps. First, get up, second, go into the kitchen, third, wash one dish. Just one. Once you have started, you are likely to wash until there is no more room in your drying rack. Write affirmations where you can see them, or keep them in your phone so you can reference them. Set an alarm and give yourself a time window to accomplish your task within. Once you’re done, you’re done. Whatever the task is, take a moment to congratulate yourself when it’s done. Look at the counter space you’ve created by doing the dishes. Give yourself a check mark on the calendar because you took your medication. Recruit someone to be your ‘good news buddy’, who you can text when you do something and know that they will cheer you on.

Key Takeaways

• Don’t assume you’re the only person struggling, or that your struggles aren’t valid. Learn about the real signs of depression and how high-functioning depression is more common than you think.
• You can’t manage something you can’t recognize and acknowledge. You may feel safer trying to avoid the emotion, but the key is to notice depression without judgment.
• You have to take one action a day, no matter how you feel. It can be big or small, that’s not what matters. What matters is showing yourself care by tackling the things in life that need doing.
• There are options available for those who are interested in getting help for depression in Woodland Hills.

Therapy for Young Adults in Woodland Hills 

In therapy designed specifically for young adults, our focus is on getting to know the real you—not the version shaped by your parents’ expectations or society’s standards. We want to understand your thoughts, emotions, fears, and the goals you have for yourself. Through Young Adult Therapy in Woodland Hills, you’ll build skills to become more resilient and develop deeper, more authentic relationships—with both yourself and others.Contact us today for your complimentary 20-minute phone consultation with our Admin Team today!