From isolation to connection—it’s a journey many adults quietly long for, especially when moving to a fast-paced city like Los Angeles. If you’re new to Woodland Hills or just struggling to build meaningful relationships, you’re not alone. As a Young Adults Counselor in Woodland Hills, I know that making friends as an adult can feel intimidating, particularly in socially competitive or image-conscious environments. But with the right tools, you can move from loneliness to confidence—and create the connections you deserve.

Why Is It So Hard to Make Social Connections as an Adult?

What makes adult socializing so difficult, especially in a place like LA? Between busy schedules, past social wounds, and the fear of rejection, many people end up feeling isolated—despite being surrounded by people. This is especially true for newcomers trying to plant roots in a new city. There are practical strategies for adults new to Woodland Hills or the greater Los Angeles Area, but they can feel overwhelming or intimidating to begin using.

Common Challenges Adults Face in Social Settings:

• Fear of judgment or awkwardness, and especially feeling like no one else struggles with those things.
• Overthinking what to say or how to act in order to “make a good impression”, or at least not make a “bad one”.
• Assuming “everyone already has their circle” despite the fact that there may be zero evidence that that is true.
• Social fatigue from work, parenting, or caretaking roles drains all energy to make and continue new connections.
• Difficulty initiating or sustaining conversations, whether due to fear of judgment, overthinking, or insecurity about likeability.
• Feeling like an outsider in a new environment, not realizing that others may be new, too, or that the existing group may be looking for someone just like you!

2 Tools to Build Confidence in Social Settings

1 – Start with Low-Stakes, Repeating Social Opportunities

A low-stakes, repeating social opportunity is a group event wherein you are focused on an activity besides conversing, and there is more than one date to attend. These scenarios allow people to bond over a shared interest and get a feel for one another without direct one-on-one conversation, and at a more gradual pace.

• A regularly-scheduled event provides a location and access to other people. Try structured events like local fitness classes, book clubs, or volunteer groups in Woodland Hills. Choose something that you enjoy, or that you’ve been meaning to try; something that feels honest. When you are able to participate in activities you have in common, relationship building is made easier. Check in with yourself with reminders that there are repeating events for this activity. The fact that you have more than one opportunity to make a connection can help you to relax more, get a feel for your surroundings, and actually enjoy the process.
• Being able to go to something that takes place on a regular basis for any period of time will help you to acclimatize and settle in. Repetition builds familiarity—which lowers anxiety and increases connection over time. The more predictable something is, the easier it is on our nervous systems, which allows us to experience more enjoyment. Those we see for Young Adults Therapy in Woodland Hills find that knowing they have space to make contact, to listen and observe a little, and to make small bids over the course of a few weeks feels more manageable than one three-hour window at a meet-and-greet or one-off event. You may take note of those you see on a weekly basis and what they seem to enjoy most, the kind of socializing they seem to do, and maybe something they shine in. It’s straightforward and honest if you can pay a genuine compliment and ask an open-ended question, such as, “I always appreciate your takes on the latest chapter. Is this your favorite genre to read?”
• Enjoy the ebb and flow of the environment and your common interest/goal. A group setting where you can choose whether to hang back or put yourself out there depending on how you’re feeling is going to help you feel more at ease, which is always the most conducive to showing up as your best self. It’s easier to connect when the pressure to perform is lower and everyone is showing up for a shared interest; it’s not necessarily about you, but more the experience as a whole. This might mean that, one of the times, you show up and just focus on what you’re doing Again, because you get multiple kicks at the can, an off night where you’re more self-focused isn’t the end of the world.

2 – Practice Social Scripts and Mindful Presence

There is no rule that says you can’t plan out what you might say to start a conversation. Sure, it’s not possible to script a whole chat; the other person will no doubt have their own thoughts and experiences to share. But there is no reason why you can’t come up with some neutral conversation-starters and some tricks to stay focused on the present conversation beforehand. We talk about and practice these in our Woodland Hills Young Adults Therapy sessions, and people experience real benefits from doing so!

• Come up with something you can ask that invites open responses. This means you’re not going to ask a question that can be answered with a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’. Examples of that might be, “Have you been here before?” or “Have you always lived in LA?” Before a gathering, rehearse a few go-to conversation openers:
  • “What brought you to Woodland Hills?” The person may say they’ve always lived here, or they may have moved from another SoCal area, or even from out of state. Chances are good that there is more to the story regardless of which story it is, if you are actively listening and ready to respond. For example, even if someone says they were born here, you might say that you don’t meet many people who can say that, and ask if many of their childhood community members are still around. There is always another question, even if it doesn’t seem apparent at first. And ideally, that person will inquire in kind, giving you space to talk about your own history with the area.
  • “Have you tried any good restaurants around here lately?” This is a great question to ask, as it allows for the other person to share the kind of food they prefer, as well as any recent positive experiences. They might say, “Well, I really love sushi, and there’s a great new spot…” If you also love sushi, you now have a great recommendation, if nothing else. If not, no worries. You can still ask a follow-up question such as, “Do you have a favorite sushi restaurant in town?”
• Don’t get lost in space or in your own thoughts. Use mindfulness to ground yourself. Focus on the other person’s voice, facial expression, or your breath if you feel anxious. Staying grounded in the present moment can help to prevent rumination or worry; those who struggle with depression can find that their social anxiety can be high, and their social battery can be low. Some of this can be alleviated by letting the room fall away a little, so that you aren’t as conscious of how many people are around you. 
• A conversation is not an audition or a job interview. When we see social connection as something we are trying to earn by displaying our worth, we can quickly end up overthinking and overperforming. Remind yourself: You don’t need to be interesting—you need to be interested. We put so much pressure on ourselves to “impress” that we miss opportunities for connection. This happens when listening for a space to make a funny comment, or turn the conversation back to us, instead of listening to understand the other person. This mindset is also helpful if you encounter someone whose replies to your open-ended questions still manage to shut you down. It’s not about you, it’s about them; take a deep breath and make a different connection.

Key Takeaways

• Building adult friendships in a new city is hard—but not impossible. Especially in a region that is so densely populated, there are plenty of opportunities to participate in events and take classes where you can connect with folks who have similar interests.
• Confidence comes from small wins: low-stakes events, intentional practice, and genuine curiosity.
• Connection grows over time—don’t judge yourself for feeling awkward at first.
• You may choose to attend in-person or online Young Adults Therapy to work through some insecurities and concerns, strategize, and practice connection building.

How Therapy Can Help

Therapy offers a supportive space to unpack social anxiety, build self-awareness, and strengthen interpersonal skills. Whether you’re navigating loneliness, fear of rejection, or simply feel stuck in old patterns, therapy can help you create a more connected and confident life. You don’t have to figure it out alone—support is here for you.

Therapy for Young Adults in Woodland Hills 

In therapy for young adults, our goal is to truly see you—not the version shaped by others’ expectations, but the one that’s honest, curious, and still figuring things out. We want to understand your thoughts, emotions, worries, and dreams, and help you navigate this important phase of your life.

Through Young Adult Therapy in Woodland Hills, you’ll build skills to increase resilience, develop a stronger sense of self, and form more authentic, meaningful relationships—both with others and yourself.

Contact us today for your complimentary 20-minute phone consultation with our Admin Team today!