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How Can You Talk to Your Teen About Sensitive New Topics?

A mother and her teenage daughter are sitting on the edge of the bed together holding hands.

How Can You Talk to Your Teen About Sensitive New Topics?

A mother and her teenage daughter are sitting on the edge of the bed together holding hands.

As teens grow, they become curious about the world and encounter a variety of sensitive new topics. Whether it’s relationships, mental health, or social issues, these conversations can feel daunting for both parents and teens. It’s common for parents to worry about saying the wrong thing or unintentionally pushing their teen away. However, avoiding these conversations can leave teens feeling unsupported and confused. By approaching these topics thoughtfully, you can create a safe space for open dialogue and strengthen your relationship with your teen. We see firsthand the benefits of open and respectful parent-child communication for those who see us for teen therapy in Woodland Hills.

Being Sensitive: Understanding Your Teen’s Perspective

An African American mother is sitting beside her son on the couch as she looks at him and he smiles.

When it comes to talking to your teen about sensitive subjects, empathy is key. Adolescence is a time of emotional and cognitive development, meaning teens often experience heightened emotions and may struggle to process complex topics. To build trust, it’s essential to respect their perspective, even if it differs from your own.

Start by listening without judgment. Teens are more likely to open up when they feel heard rather than criticized. Avoid interrupting or immediately offering solutions; instead, validate their feelings by acknowledging what they share (“I can see why that would be really confusing for you” or “That sounds like a tough situation”). Demonstrating genuine curiosity about their thoughts and experiences shows that you respect their growing independence.

Additionally, be mindful of timing. Sensitive topics are best discussed when both you and your teen feel calm and present. Trying to initiate these conversations during moments of stress or conflict can backfire and may lead to defensiveness.

3 Ways to Talk to Your Teen About Sensitive New Topics

  1. Create a Safe Environment:
A mother and her daughter are sitting at the dinner table, eating muffins and drinking coffee together.

Building an environment of trust starts long before the conversation begins. Let your teen know that you are always available to talk and that no subject is off-limits. Use open-ended questions to invite discussion without pressure (“How are things going with your friends?” or “What do you think about what’s been happening in the news?”). Open-ended questions don’t leave you any room to assign your own personal feelings or bias; your teen doesn’t have to decide between telling you what they think you’re asking or telling the truth. These questions also communicate a genuine curiosity and eagerness to learn and understand your teen. Everyone wants to be seen and understood, and your teen is no different, no matter how aloof they may appear.

Normalize checking in and sharing, even about everyday “mundane” events and thoughts. This nurtures the conversational skills you and your teen will need, as well as making it common to communicate with one another. If the only time you and your teen touch base is about the “big stuff”, your teen may feel unsure and uncomfortable about opening up. The more familiar your teen is with talking to you, the more natural it will feel to them to reach out when the topic of conversation is a significant one.

When it comes time to discuss tricky subjects, a non-judgmental tone can help your teen feel secure in sharing. It can be difficult, when we are emotional, to keep our voices neutral. This is why important conversations should be had when you are feeling capable of being open and non-judgmental. Try your best to set aside time to talk about the things that matter the most to you. Choose a time and place where you and your teen have privacy, where you’re both feeling regulated, and when you have your physical needs met (Are you exhausted? Are you hungry? Then it’s not the time.)

Because life isn’t perfect, that can’t always be the case. There will always be occurrences where you have to talk about something in a less-than-ideal circumstance; hopefully, this is rare. Make sure to check in with yourself while you’re talking to your teen. Are you holding tension in your body? Common places for tension include the neck, shoulders, and jaw. Can you relax in those areas? Are you breathing deeply? Are you trying to keep your body comfortable? When you are able to create a feeling of calm in the body, this helps you to process information. An already anxious body isn’t going to receive surprising news as gracefully as it would if your nervous system was already in a state of general regulation.

Your teen may want to attend therapy, or may already do so. Supporting your teen in their mental health is a great way to create a safe environment, as you are showing that you take their wellness seriously. Whether they attend in-person or online teen therapy, your encouragement will mean a lot to them and go a long way. In our Woodland Hills teen therapy sessions, we sometimes help teens put into words what they want to share with their parents. The best thing you can do is be ready for them to communicate with you and welcome the conversation with open arms.

  1. Be Honest, Yet Age-Appropriate:
An Asian American mother and her amputee daughter are sitting on the bed together smiling.

Honesty fosters trust, but it’s important to tailor your responses to your teen’s developmental stage. Offer clear and factual information without overwhelming them. From your teen’s point of view, they are the oldest they’ve ever been. It is not up to them to remind themselves that they are also the youngest they will ever be, and several years away from having a fully-developed brain. Even teens who are “mature for their age” are still children, and they are still growing.

If you’re unsure how much detail to provide, ask them what they already know or want to understand better. This ensures you meet them at their level and avoid confusing or unnecessary details. It will paint a picture for you of how your teen is feeling about the situation at the same time. It will also enable you to consider your options as far as your point of view. Sometimes, the first thing we think of isn’t the main issue for our teens. Letting them clarify their stance can prevent you from going down an unnecessary road, and also spark your own imagination as to how to approach the conversation. If your teen is on the internet, they likely see and hear things you aren’t aware of. 

Communicating with your teen about social media usage can feel like a field of landmines. You might experience frustration at your efforts to keep things age-appropriate by being waylaid by influencers and online friends. With this in mind, remember that how you respond to what your teen knows will impact how comfortable your teen feels about sharing with you in the future. It is one thing to intend to keep things age-appropriate. It is another to shut down a conversation because you find out that your teen is aware of something you would have preferred they didn’t learn about yet. When omitting details, be clear with them that the things you feel are too mature for them aren’t being kept because of some failing of theirs, but rather to honor where they are developmentally. Prepare yourself to be surprised by your teen, and practice how you will react. Take a deep breath; remind yourself that there is no such thing as going back in time to prevent your teen from coming across the information, whatever it may be. You might say, “I’m surprised you know about that, so I need a moment to think about my response.” Remember that it is natural to be curious. You may choose to ask your teen, “What was it that made you curious about that?” They may reply that they found it by accident, they may say that a friend told them (fight any immediate instinct you might have to ban them from seeing that friend anymore), or some other source. If they weren’t looking for the information, ask them how they felt about it then and how they feel now.

Curiosity and open-heartedness will always serve you better and create a more honest dialogue with your teen. You can tell them that what they’ve discovered is a little mature for them, but make sure they know they can ask you what they need to ask you. The other alternative is that they’ll ask someone else, someone you may not know and who may not have your teen’s best interest at heart.

  1. Encourage Two-Way Communication:
A mother and her daughter are sitting together on the couch looking on the daughters phone.

Instead of making the conversation a lecture, aim for a dialogue. Ask your teen what they think and how they feel about the topic at hand. For example, if you’re discussing mental health, you might ask, “What do you think would help someone who feels anxious a lot?”

Engaging them in this way empowers them to think critically and feel more involved. If they ask a question you don’t know how to answer, it’s okay to admit it. You can say, “That’s a great question. Let’s look it up together.” This model shows openness and a willingness to learn alongside them.

You might worry about boundaries when it comes to communicating with your teen. How much is the right amount to share so that your teen feels that you have a mutual rapport, but not so much that your teen becomes parentified? The truth is that there is no carte-blanche answer for everyone, and you have to feel that out as you go. When you feel like you’re unsure, think of having the conversation with another adult in front of a teen your teen’s age. Would you feel it was appropriate for them to hear, or would you be uncomfortable? If you wouldn’t be comfortable talking about it in front of a random teenager because they are too young, chances are that your teen is also not ready for that conversation.

The key to two-way communication is that you also have to be prepared to share. This can feel vulnerable. You might worry about being put in a position where you have to admit to your teen that you don’t understand something, or can’t provide something. Most parents want their children to feel safe with them, and think that the way to achieve that is to always have the answers and never seem uncertain. While there are definitely topics that aren’t for teens to have to think about, there are many topics that it is perfectly reasonable to admit you’re not well-versed on. This will teach your teen that you know how to admit when you’re confused and build their trust in you to be straight with them at all times. They will know that when you are steadfast about something, it’s because you mean it.

Your teen is going to feel impacted by concerns about big issues about human rights, the environment, and so forth. They may worry about a generational divide, or you may worry that they’ll never feel understood by you. When you are able to meet them partway in conversations and participate in discussions as a back-and-forth rather than only one of you speaking, you will show your teen that you care about what they care about, how it impacts them, and how you can help and support them.

Having boundaries with your teen while also negotiating things like rules and limits to social media can feel tricky. Some parents avoid two-way conversations because it feels like opening up a debate about something they feel firm about. However, the conversation itself is about making sure that you each understand one another. Your teen might take the opportunity to push back, but why should that be a bad thing? If you have a solid reason for feeling how you feel, then curiosity from your teen will only provide you with the opportunity to have a more meaningful conversation with them about it.

A mother and son are having breakfast together as the mother gives him a bowl of strawberries.

Sensitive topics are going to come up no matter how much we may want to safeguard our teens from encountering them. Your teen will have a different perspective about some issues than you do; that is to be expected. What I see as a teen counselor in Woodland Hills is that parents who try to empathize with their teen’s point of view are able to make inroads when it comes to understanding what their teen knows, how their teen feels, and what their teen needs. Your teen’s generation has a whole lexicon of slang, they have likely spent the majority of their lives being able to connect with the globe from the comfort of their own bedroom thanks to the internet, and they have seen human rights repeals and environmental disasters that would justifiably make them nervous. Your teen is growing up in a different time than you did; you cannot erase or ignore that fact. Remember how it felt to be a teenager while being open to learning what it’s like to be a teenager now. Ask your teen questions, let them know they don’t have to have all the answers and be ready to open up as well. The truth is that, no matter how tough the situation your teen might be facing or thinking about, if they feel that they have your love and support, it will make all the difference in their wellbeing.

Teen Therapy in Woodland Hills, CA

At Embracing You Therapy in Woodland Hills, CA, our Teen Therapy services go beyond just talk therapy; we also focus on skill-building. Our clinicians work closely with both you and your teen to understand the challenges they face, as well as their strengths, to enhance their quality of life and help them thrive during their adolescent years.

Contact us today for your complimentary 20-minute phone consultation with our Admin Team today!

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