In the hustle and bustle of daily life, finding quality time to connect with your partner can sometimes feel like a challenge. However, investing in regular date nights is essential for maintaining a strong and healthy relationship. Whether you’re in the honeymoon phase or have been together for years, prioritizing date nights can reignite the spark and deepen your connection.

You might experience a lot of thoughts and emotions surrounding struggles to invest in date night. Guilt, frustration, fear, and resentment are all typical and normal among people who haven’t been able to schedule quality time with their significant other in a while. Feeling as though “the romance has died” is a common complaint we hear about in sessions for Couples Therapy in Woodland Hills. You might wonder if you should just accept that date night falls by the wayside over time; in actuality, date night is a key ritual in healthy and happy relationships.

Why Are Dates Important?

Before we dive into the fun part—planning your next date night—let’s explore why dates are crucial for your relationship. Date nights allow one to break away from routine and focus solely on each other. Amid busy schedules, spending intentional time together helps nurture emotional intimacy and communication. It’s a chance to show appreciation, share experiences, and keep the romance alive. Regular dates can also reduce stress, increase happiness, and build a sense of partnership and commitment within the relationship. Ultimately, investing in date nights is an investment in your relationship’s longevity and happiness; it replenishes and stabilizes the emotional bank of your relationship.

5 Best Date Ideas for Your Relationship

1) Cooking Class Together:

Discover your inner chefs by signing up for a cooking class. Whether it’s sushi-making, pasta crafting, or baking decadent desserts, cooking together is a delightful way to collaborate and have fun. Plus, you get to enjoy a delicious meal at the end of your culinary adventure. A bonus to learning how to make foods you enjoy is that this is a practical skill you can use at home to spice up your weeknight routine or to pull out for an at-home date night.

A great thing about a cooking class (or any activity where you are both learning something new) is how many love languages can be used in the process. No matter what your love language is, whether or not it is the same as your partner’s, you can find a way to express it in a cooking class. In fact, a lot of couples struggle with communicating their love effectively when they express themselves in differing love languages. Right off the bat, taking a class together is quality time. It is focused and uninterrupted; phones are away, and the task at hand is paramount. If you are learning something together, words of affirmation are lined up to say as you encourage one another. Helping each other with tricky techniques or banking skills to use on one another later can help those who prefer acts of service to give and receive in their love language. Stand close together, high five, bump hips, or any other slight touch that can count as a physical touch. Last but not least, the class can be a gift; what you make can be a gift, or implements to continue at home can be gifts for those whose love language is gift-giving.

Go into the class ready to have fun and get a little messy. Often, we get caught up in trying to control our surroundings, do everything “perfectly” (as if that were possible), and keep our lives predictable. Letting go of the outcome and relinquishing control to your instructor is a great way to take the pressure off both of you and be present in the moment together.

2) Outdoor Adventure:

Embrace the beauty of nature by planning an outdoor adventure. Whether it’s hiking a scenic trail, biking through a park, or kayaking on a serene lake, outdoor activities offer a refreshing break from daily routines and allow you to enjoy each other’s company in a picturesque setting. One of the amazing things about living in southern California is how many outdoor activities are within driving distance; depending on the season, you can ski and surf on the same day. (You might want to invest in a really good wetsuit, however.)

Always prepare for the climate, bring enough water, weather protection, and snacks, and make sure your phones are fully charged. Yes, life is unpredictable. But setting yourselves up for safety and success will help you have more fun and less stress when out on your missions!

We tend to underestimate the value of a change of scenery or of getting out of the house and getting fresh air. Going on an outdoor adventure allows both of those things to happen! Being in nature is good for us as individuals, so there is no reason why it wouldn’t be good for couples to do it together.

Depending on how athletic you are as a couple, you can also use outdoor adventure dates as a chance to boost your adrenaline and increase your trust in one another, as you take on activities that push your limits and get your heart racing. Take some time in planning your trips to research new places and what you’ll need to bring along with you. Use our outdoor adventure time as a chance to expand your horizons – literally. You might choose to work your way from easier trails to more challenging ones, or make it a goal to try everything within a certain radius and then push your radius out more and more, or any other way to look forward to your next adventure and bond over attempting each outing together.

3) Cultural Exploration:

Any shared experience is going to build upon your reserve of memories together and expand your horizons as individuals and as a couple. Explore your city’s cultural gems by visiting museums and art galleries or attending a theater performance. There are also many opportunities to experience the cultures of people from other countries, whether visiting an authentic restaurant with a cuisine you’re trying for the first time or a neighborhood like Chinatown or Little Italy. If one or both of you have particular personal connections to specific cultures, you can also take the opportunity to share your culture with one another through cuisine, landmarks, neighborhoods, events, art, and more.

Immersing yourselves in new cultural experiences can spark interesting conversations and deepen your appreciation for art and history together. Learning something new or exploring new ideas is often a catalyst for other growth and change, which we hear about in our Woodland Hills couples therapy sessions after particularly exciting experiences.

When it comes to the arts, you may discover that art does what a lot of art does: it opens you up to new emotional experiences. The arts have a way of transcending life experiences, history, cultural barriers, language, and more. A powerful song or a beautiful painting can evoke transformative thoughts and feelings. Experiencing these awakenings with your partner by your side is a great way for the two of you to become closer. Especially if you live together, something new or groundbreaking can give you something fresh to discuss or a new reason to laugh or cry together.

The great thing about living in a big city is that there is often something happening, and often, there are reduced-cost or free ways to participate. Have fun investigating upcoming events, planning your schedules and budget, and making the most of the diverse offerings that surround you. Select outings that you both want to do and that each of you want to do.

4) DIY Spa Night:

Staying at home together and relaxing is a private and quiet way to enjoy quality time, just the two of you. Transform your home into a rejuvenating spa retreat. Set up candles and soothing music, and indulge in pampering treatments like facials, massages, and bubble baths. This cozy date night is perfect for unwinding and reconnecting after a long week. This is also an opportunity for anyone who was socialized as a male growing up to be pampered; too often, there is little to no opportunity to do so.

If you make a DIY spa night a regular event, you may decide to invest in specific items, like face creams, essential oils, and a diffuser, big batches of bubble baths, and more, that you can use over and over again before expiry. If you’re not wanting or able to invest in long-term spa essentials, a quick trip to a department store can typically provide you with one-time-use face masks, and all shower gel body washes can be used to make bubble baths (seriously). Whatever time investment and budget you are working with, there are ways to pamper yourself and experience the intended outcome of the evening, which is relaxation. Utilize all your senses to make the most of the opportunity; a nice, sensual evening together can go a long way toward inspiring romantic feelings.

Your perfect vision of a spa night might be taking hot showers, putting on some face masks, and curling up in your pajamas to eat popcorn and watch a movie. You might trade off massaging one another while listening to a podcast, or one of you might read to the other in the bath. The key to a DIY spa night is to feel peaceful and invest in self-care. However, that looks for you, providing both you and your partner can relax, will work.

5) Stargazing Picnic:

Take advantage of our great weather! This is a great option that gets you outdoors without having to wear hiking boots (or SPF) necessarily. Escape to a quiet spot away from city lights and enjoy a romantic stargazing picnic. Pack some blankets, snacks, and a telescope if you have one. Spend the evening marveling at the wonders of the night sky while sharing dreams and aspirations.

Whether you prepare your food basket together, each of you prepares for the other, or you order takeaway and grab it on the way, this date starts in the packing and planning. Making sure you have enough blankets (and potentially making a trip to pick one up) is also something you can do to spend time investing in the success of the date. When planning a dateconnected (or to reconnect), it can be the thought as much as the execution that matters. It is the time taken to figure out a good place to go or the consideration of remembering somewhere one or both of you find significant.

One of the reasons this setup works so well for connecting and conversing is that sometimes, when we are close to a loved one but not making eye contact, we can be more vulnerable than if we feel the pressure of being watched. Think of all the conversations you’ve had while driving; you may have heard or shared some deep revelations in this scenario. Laying side by side to watch the sky is a pressure-free way to support opening up and sharing truths.

Another benefit of stargazing is the straight-up romance of the situation. Complacency is hard to resist over time; efforts to keep the romance alive go a very long way toward nurturing your relationship. Romance can be emotional, sexual, or both. Curling up together for your date night can help you experience intimacy akin to the earlier days of your relationship. This doesn’t mean that there is pressure to force romance; it’s more about setting aside the time and space that can foster those feelings of intimacy and closeness.

As a marriage counselor in Woodland Hills, I see how often couples’ fear of losing one another or not being “enough” shows up as closing off, pulling away, and deflecting. What is so great about a date night is that it is a mutual agreement between the two of you to show up for one another. It eliminates ideas of one person doing all the work or making all the bids for affection. It gives you both an opportunity to share what you enjoy with the other person and to try new things together. The difference between a couple who is spending time apart and a couple who is enjoying experiences together is palpable, both in in-person and online marriage therapy sessions. Investing in date nights doesn’t mean that you will never have any issues or come up against obstacles. What it does is lay a foundation of consistency and shared memories. It allows you to be vulnerable together when you are trying new things; it creates a sense of emotional safety with the other person that comes in handy when times get tough. It reminds each of you that you are both committed to experiencing joy and intimacy in your relationship, that you are able to grow together, and that you each think the other is worth the time and effort.

Embracing You Therapy Can Help You Navigate Relationship Conflicts

Here at Embracing You Therapy Group, our couple’s therapy is all about identifying the present issues, unpacking the past, and creating a future where you both feel confident, loved, and seen. Many relationship conflicts rise from lack of feeling heard, leading unmet needs and resentment.  If you aren’t entirely comfortable with maneuvering your way through difficult relationship conversations, reach out to us to learn more about how couples therapy in Woodland Hills, CA, in person or virtually can help you. Contact us today for your complimentary 20-minute phone consultation with our Client Care Coordinator.