When you live with Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD), your inner critic can become unbearably loud. The mirror feels like an enemy. The urge to “fix” or hide perceived flaws can take over your day. As a Body Dysmorphic Disorder counselor in Woodland Hills, I often hear from people how invasive their BDD is. But one powerful, often overlooked tool in the healing process is self-compassion—the practice of treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a loved one.

Why Self-Compassion Matters in BDD Recovery

BDD is a mental health condition where a person becomes obsessively focused on perceived flaws in their appearance—flaws that are often invisible to others. At the heart of BDD is not just a distorted self-image, but a deep sense of self-judgment, shame, and emotional pain. This guilt and shame can even become an obsession. Self-compassion directly targets these emotional wounds and helps you relate to yourself with care rather than criticism.

How BDD Impacts Self-Perception:

• Negative self-talk: “I look disgusting,” “Everyone is staring at me,” and other intrusive thoughts.
• Perfectionism: Feeling like your appearance must meet unrealistic standards.
• Shame and isolation: Avoiding social situations due to fear of judgment.
• Constant comparison: Believing others are “better looking” or “more normal”.

Two Self-Compassion Practices to Support BDD Healing

1 – Practice the Self-Compassion Pause

Being able to trace how your thoughts can turn into negative spirals can greatly assist you in your understanding of BDD and why it impacts you the way it does. In our Woodland Hills Body Dysmorphic Disorder therapy sessions, we see how beneficial it can be to take a moment to really consider what is happening and what response you can have to the situation.

• This pause helps you shift from judgment to gentle awareness. Consider this: if you notice something that you perceive to be a flaw and immediately reach for a “solution”, you are immediately sending yourself the message that yes, this is a problem, and yes, you have to deal with it. On the other hand, if you are able to experience noticing something that is bothering you, but stop yourself before any next step, you are setting yourself up to question the story you are telling yourself, as well as diverting a behavior that might reinforce a negative cycle. That doesn’t mean that you will immediately be able to let go of your concern, or determine that what was bothering you isn’t actually a big deal, but it does give you the opportunity to limit how far your spiral, or how hard you are on yourself.
• Put yourself in the other seat. We can be much harder on ourselves than we would be on a loved one. Where we may demand perfection from ourselves, we would almost never do the same to someone else. This can include the way we expect ourselves to look, or the way we expect ourselves to feel, or the struggle we experience when we are trying to break negative patterns but struggling. What begins as dissatisfaction about something on the surface can run away with itself and become an indictment of your whole personality and character before long, and that is the last thing you want to have happen to you in those moments. When you catch yourself in a spiral of self-criticism, pause and ask: “What would I say to a friend feeling this way?” You would likely tell them that you are hearing their feelings, that you’re there for them, that you believe in them.
• Choose to respond with honest kindness. Self-compassion isn’t about lying to yourself, whether it’s a positive lie (“Everything’s fine!”) or a negative one (“You’re the only person who struggles with this, why can’t you be like everyone else?”). Compassion is meeting the struggle and allowing it to exist without it swallowing you up. Try saying to yourself: “This is a moment of suffering. I’m not alone in feeling this way. I deserve kindness right now.” An affirmation like this puts things into perspective: this moment is real and it is hard but it will end, you are not alone, and you are worthy of good things.

2 – Redirect Attention to What Your Body Can Do

There is no shortage of messaging about the importance of looking a certain way, or obtaining certain physical goals. Even those who do not struggle with BDD can get caught up in the idea that their aesthetic is their ultimate attribute. Reframing your body as the home you live in that enables you to experience your life can help you to focus on how it is supporting you, rather than the ways in which you wish it was different.

• Instead of focusing on how your body looks, explore how it supports you. It is a good practice to take time to reflect solely on your body’s function, but that isn’t the only time you can make this transition. Try responding to negative thoughts about your appearance with something positive about your body’s ability. For example, if you notice something that bothers you, take a breath, close your eyes, and say, “That is part of my body that I am noticing, and I am also noticing that my body was strong enough to carry in all the groceries today.” You may also find it’s helpful to notice when you see this in others; this is not about comparing yourself to them, but in reframing how you think about the importance of appearance in general. If you find yourself noticing something attractive about another person, take a pause and try to find something about what their body can do that you appreciate. This might be someone who is a great dancer, or who brings a lot of energy and hard work to your workplace. It might be someone who holds the door for you, or helps you in some way.
• Set aside time for reflection. Taking time to consider how your body supports you can train your brain to focus on that support more often and with greater ease. It has proven helpful for those who see us for Body Dysmorphic Disorder therapy in Woodland Hills to set aside time for this practice. In a quiet space, when you are feeling connected to your body, take some time to sit with your thoughts and make a record of all the functional ways you appreciate your body. Try journaling prompts like:
  • “Today my body helped me…” We can often take for granted the day-to-day abilities we are privileged to have. Your body may help you to get from one place to another, to pick up and cradle a crying child, to move something out of the day. Your body is always helping you to stay alive; there may be days when that is all you can think of to say, and that is okay.
  • “I am grateful that my body allows me to…” What do you do because your body enables it? Do you see beauty, hear music, taste your favorite meal? Do you play a sport, or participate in a hobby that brings you happiness? Sometimes, we forget that our body allows us to simply exist, to experience so many little joys without having to think about it. Any good moment in your day happened because your body allowed you to be alive to experience it.
• Focus on yourself; forego comparison with others. We all have different abilities, which means all of us have some ability to be grateful for. Whether it’s that our bodies keep us alive, or whether we set a physical goal and work to it, we can begin to view our bodies as a place we are in as opposed to a thing that others are looking at. Reconnecting with function over form can help reframe your relationship with your appearance. For example, if you go to the gym with the sole intention of changing your body shape, you will likely be disappointed in one way or another. However, if you go to the gym with the intention to build your endurance and/or strength, then the way you measure your success becomes something that doesn’t need to be seen. It comes from adding another rep to your set, or walking farther on the treadmill without getting winded, or increasing your mobility.

Key Takeaways

• BDD is rooted in shame and self-criticism—self-compassion helps soften these patterns.
• BDD is not insecurity or vanity, it is not a shallow struggle. It is a mental health disorder that you did not choose to have. You have every right to take it seriously and seek the proper treatment for symptom management.
• You don’t have to silence the inner critic of BDD overnight, but you can learn to respond with kindness.
• Small daily practices in compassion can reduce obsessive appearance-focused thoughts over time.
• You may choose to attend in-person or online Body Dysmorphic Disorder therapy as you explore and address your BDD and how it impacts your life.

Body Dysmorphic Disorder Therapy in Woodland Hills 

Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) can feel all-consuming—filled with constant, intrusive thoughts about your appearance that impact nearly every moment of your day. Because these thoughts feel so real, seeking help can be incredibly difficult. At Embracing You Therapy, our clinicians specialize in treating BDD with a compassionate and evidence-based approach. Together, we’ll explore how BDD shows up in your life by tracking thought and behavior patterns. Once a strong therapeutic connection is built, we’ll begin using Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP), along with CBT and mindfulness techniques, to help you shift the way you relate to your body and regain a sense of peace.

Contact us today for your complimentary 20-minute phone consultation with our Admin Team today!