No matter how exciting a life transition may be, it often comes with a set of nerves and worries. It is normal and natural to have to navigate these feelings when you are undertaking a new adventure. Overcoming college nerves is a big step toward making the most of your freshman year. A big part of this task involves accepting the truth: starting college can be both exciting and intimidating. This is especially true for teens leaving home, adjusting to new routines, and navigating new social circles. If you are feeling anxious, you are not alone. The good news? There are ways to face those fears and build confidence along the way.

Why Is the Transition to College So Nerve-Wracking?

College brings major life changes all at once. From academic pressure to social expectations, it’s normal to feel overwhelmed. What matters most is how you respond to those nerves—and how you care for your mental and emotional well-being during the transition.

Common Freshman Year Challenges:

• Homesickness or missing your support system.
• Worrying about making friends or fitting in; you may struggle to embrace who you are during this time, even if you felt confident in the past.
• Academic pressure or imposter syndrome, wondering how the change in routine will impact your grades, or if you “can hack it” at the post-secondary level.
• Managing time and responsibilities independently, especially as workloads increase and supervision decreases.
• Feeling like everyone else has it figured out (spoiler: they don’t!).

3 Tools to Boost Confidence and Ease Anxiety

1 – Normalize the Nerves

An aversion to nerves is something we see in people of all ages during our Woodland Hills therapy sessions. It is only normal to resent negative feelings and try to eliminate them by avoiding or denying them, but that doesn’t help you process or work through them.

• Be kind to yourself about accepting the situation. Remind yourself: “It’s okay to feel nervous—this is a big change.” Note that happens when you give yourself permission to feel how you feel without resisting or ignoring your nerves. Are you still frustrated? Do you resist what you are experiencing? When you acknowledge where you are, you know where to begin. Like any journey, the steps you take in the direction you want to go begin with orienting yourself. From there, you can work towards feeling better, even if it’s a small step at a time.
• Don’t compare yourself to how well you think others are doing. Everyone is adjusting in their own way, even if they seem confident on the outside. Some people may adjust well in a specific area; you are more likely to notice the people who seem strong in the aspect of college life you are most nervous about. Remember that your perception of others is based on a limited picture of their lives, as well as your own subconscious ideas and insecurities. Also, keep in mind that different seasons of life arrive differently for different people. Some people had a great time in high school, some will thrive in college after struggling in high school, and others will go into the world after graduation still seeking their stride. Your timing on your journey is your own, and no amount of comparison will change your circumstances. By all means, be inspired by people. Just don’t compete with them.
• Let your nerves happen without judging yourself. Accepting your nerves instead of fighting them makes room for growth and self-compassion. If you find this difficult, imagine a friend is coming to you with the same issue. Would you respond to their anxiety about starting college by judging or chastising them? Or would you reassure them that they are doing a great job, that transitions can be hard, and that you support them? Whatever you would say to someone you love and respect, say it to yourself. You deserve every bit of kindness and acceptance you would show to someone else.

2 – Build Micro-Connections

The importance of your social life is not something to be scoffed at. How we connect with one another and the friendships we are able to build can greatly impact how we navigate all stages of life. Building and maintaining friendships is something we hear a lot about from those who see us for young adult therapy in Woodland Hills. If you went through school with a core group of friends, this might be the first time in a while that you’ve had to think about making new ones.

• You don’t have to make best friends overnight. We can get stuck in an idea that something is more special if it’s instantaneous, but most relationships build over time. Start small: smile at someone in class, ask a roommate to grab coffee, or join a club with shared interests. If you are more shy, it may feel daunting at first. An extrovert might come and grab you, or you may make eye contact with another shy person and share a smile of solidarity. It might take some time to listen and observe and see how you feel about the people around you.
• Leave space for growth. A few small conversations can turn into meaningful friendships over time. Be curious about others; take time to consider what they tell you about themselves and what they bring out in you. College is a time of exploration and self-discovery. None of you are fully developed at this young of an age. Enjoy connections as they happen and don’t put pressure on yourself to make them “more”. Many of you are busy and juggling a lot of responsibilities for the first time.
• Don’t bully yourself. Remember: Showing up is often more important than saying the perfect thing. Being together through shared experiences will help lay a foundation of friendship with the people you connect with. It’s not about magically winning everyone over, especially if you’d have to alter yourself or your values to do so. There should always be room in relationships for misunderstandings, accidents, and mistakes, provided the people involved are operating in good faith.

3 – Set Gentle Routines

In high school, you may have been structured into routines by the adults around you. Most schools take and report attendance; many college and university classes do not. If you lived with your parents during high school, they may have made plans for your time and laid out scheduling expectations. Now you’re on your own, and you may find that too much “freedom” leaves you overwhelmed.

• Give yourself a framework for your days. Creating a loose daily structure helps reduce overwhelm and increase confidence. Part of managing stress and anxiety is to accept that you can’t control everything, and choose what to focus on that feels within your grasp. When you have a framework, you can set times or time windows in your plan to use as guideposts through your day. Utilize a planner and/or a calendar app that allows you to customize your goals and deadlines in a way that motivates you.
• Gentle routines are scaffolding, not the entire structure. Try this: pick 3 things to anchor your day—like breakfast, class, and a walk or study session. This routine is gentle because two of the things on your list can be done within time windows, meaning you don’t have to show up at a specific minute to achieve them. It is also gentle because one of them is scheduled for you, taking the guess work out of showing up. In this way, you experience a balance of independence and accountability to others, without overloading your plate with things to do.
• A routine is something you can grab onto. Routines create stability, which helps you feel more grounded and in control. In anxiety therapy, we focus a lot on managing how we feel in our bodies, the thoughts we have, and how we respond to those thoughts with behaviors and patterns. Going to sleep and waking at the same time every day can bookend your routine and help your body regulate energy. Sleep, hydration, and energy through nutrition are important aspects of your life to consider; always do your best to make these basics of self care a part of your routine. Daily affirmations, quick meditation breaks, and other mental refreshers can become short yet invaluable elements of a self-care and emotional wellness routine.

Key Takeaways

• Feeling anxious about college is normal—and something you can work through. Like any life change, it takes patience, practice, and flexibility.
• Small steps, like making micro-connections and creating routines, build lasting confidence.
• You will find your path and your place if you show up as yourself. You don’t need to be perfect to belong—you just need to be present.
• Those we see for therapy for young adults in Woodland Hills report that transition from secondary to post-secondary education brings about anxiety and stress. You are not alone, and feeling nervous does not mean that you aren’t capable of moving forward.

Therapy for Young Adults in Woodland Hills 

In therapy tailored for young adults, our goal is to understand the real you—not the version shaped by parental expectations or societal pressure. We’re here to explore your thoughts, emotions, worries, and aspirations. Through Young Adult Therapy in Woodland Hills, you’ll gain tools to build resilience and form more genuine, fulfilling relationships—with others and with yourself.

Contact us today for your complimentary 20-minute phone consultation with our Admin Team today!